LinkedIn, You Suck

I’m not sure if LinkedIn has a personality disorder or if it’s just a dick. Social Media in general sucks. It’s a lame idea and is only making us shittier people. LinkedIn is not Social Media, or at least it shouldn’t be. No one really wants to be social at work. Like butt sex, it sounds good at the time, but then she is sore and you are left with a dick covered in shit. I know LinkedIn desperately wants to be cool like that kid Facebook who sits in the back of the class cracking jokes. But, LinkedIn is the nerd, that kid who reminds the teacher about the homework assignment.

These two social sites should be kept as far the fuck apart from each other as humanly possible. The same way you keep the positive and negative clamps away from each other when jump starting a car. And yes you look like Moses parting the Red Sea with both hands spread wide open; a Korean professional calisthenics instructor when you do this. We’ve all been there.  I don’t get drunk at work or bring my laptop and go over reports while at the bar for happy hour. Likewise keep these two the hell away from each other.

Yet, LinkedIn insists on being your friend. Well, maybe like that annoying son of bitch that was always up your ass in high school wanting to hang out. Yeah, that guy. The one who would say shit like, “I know someone who likes you”, then won’t tell you who is. Yeah, that douche is the guy who is responsible for the spam emails about someone looking at your profile on LinkedIn.  Then when you fall for it (and you know you always do) you click on it go to your profile and ……………

You get a pop up asking to link your social and email accounts to LinkedIn. Because everyone wants pictures and status updates from last weeks debauchery linked to an account that co-workers, supervisors, and potential employers have access to view. After clicking past this bullshit and then clicking on the red notification up top,  which of course turns out to be a another trigger to fire a pop-up to get your social info AGAIN…….. You finally get to your profile to see who likes you, who was looking at your shit and………..

A big fat fuck off is revealed. If you want to see anything you have to sign up to be LinkedIn’s super secret BFF. This way, you can get access to see who likes you.

LinkedIn, fuck off. You are not cool. You never will be. You are a service that while needed is not nor will ever be, the next Facebook. kindly stay the fuck out of my contacts and for Christ’s sake STOP SPAMMING PEOPLE WITH USELESS SHIT!

Oh, and for those people who insist on publishing lame ass boring bullshit in the hopes that your boss sees it. Please kill yourself or join Facebook (it’s always the people without other social media accounts that do this). No one at your firm is reading what you posted on LinkedIn. If you want that brown nose of yours to get noticed, you post that shit on the company intranet. That is what intranets are for. It is the superhighway of ass kissing and office politics.

Professional Photographers?

I always find photography tutorial / advice websites interesting. The “about” sections particularly are always fun. Most of them start off like this, “(insert number less than 5) years ago I picked up a camera and blah blah blah….”

They all went from complete novice to expert in 5 years or less, many in less than 3. Funny how the explosion in pro-sumer photographic equipment took off around the same time.

Be careful, they don’t have the slightest clue about what they are saying. They simply copied ideas and techniques from other more experienced photographers. Copying is fine to an extent, but because they lack the knowledge, they don’t know other ways of doing the same thing and can’t elaborate on what to do and when to do it. Following their advice will leave you one dimensional and without actual knowledge.

The best thing to do is avoid them altogether and instead get a book about the specific technique you’re interested in. There are tons out there and because of the steps involved in getting a book to market there is a better chance that the information has been thoroughly vetted.

Google Killed Folder Organization

I’m pretty much done with Google. I’ve had it with the bullshit. Lollipop on Android is the most fucking ugly back-assed operating system I’ve ever seen. I’d rather put windows 3.0 on my phone. They killed Reader, forced us into G+, constantly fuck with things that are working and working well, only to replace them with shittier uglier versions.

I follow many different people on Youtube. Emphasis on PEOPLE. Not companies. PEOPLE. People have names. Joe Blow may have videos on home improvement.  While John Blow has videos on watercolor painting. Bongwater69 might have videos on hiking. The point is that you can’t tell content by the name. That is why organizing them into subject folders was the only way to figure out who did what. Now, I just see a list of names. I can’t go to the folder named Photography to find all photography related videos. Retarded. That is the only word for it.

Maybe, there is something else they are coming out with to replace it, but as of this rant, no, there is nothing. Quite frankly, with their track record of bad ideas and failures, I’m not holding my breath that if it is replaced it will be any good. G+ was and is a joke. All the things that went along with it are also beyond useless.

I’m currently shopping Windows phones, as the only fix to the shit pie that is lollipop, is to root my S4 (if you even can do that anymore) regardless, I shouldn’t have too.  Plenty of other options out there Google and most are as good, if not exceptionally better.

Me and My Hemorrhoid

Me and my hemorrhoid go back close to forty-eight hours. I never caught his name, it was my first time, and I guess I was a little nervous. I know he is a he, because a woman couldn’t be this much of a bastard.

We’ve been intimate pretty much since we met. Me poking, and he always rubbing, always touching, just to let me know he’s there. Like an older brother sticking his finger a millimeter in front of your face and repeating, “I’m not touching you! I’m not touching you!”

But he is touching me. Like a fever sore ground into hot salty sand and compressed until it becomes glass. He must have been a fighter or a war hero in a past life.

As with most relationships, it has started out hot and heavy, and I wonder how long we can keep this up. He is quite jealous and territorial. I can only hope it ends amicably.

Concept Artist – Sparth, New book Structura 3

Very cool book by Concept artist Sparth. He is the Art Director for HALO.  Not a huge fan of concept art in general, but because of it’s close relation to 3D visualization (the day job) I try to at least keep an eye on what is going on in that field. Also, since I finally got a PS4 and started playing Destiny, I’m warming up to more Sci-Fi art.

Check out the book here: Structura 3

For an in-depth look at the book and an interview check out Scott Robertson’s channel on Youtube.